My Bike Goes Naked

It was huge! It made my man purse look like a fanny pack. It was a bike bag mounted on this dudes handlebars. It was one of those bags that you put your ‘just in case’ stuff in. Like, just in case I get stuck on the moon during my ride I will put this Apollo command module in here. It was roughly the size of an Apollo command module. It was ridiculous.

I thought to myself ‘self, you could pick up a lot of stuff off the side of the road if you had one of those’. I have got to stop picking stuff up. Especially if I need a special bag to store it in.

I am anti-bag. I think that bikes, much like dogs, should not wear clothes. There is nothing I hate worse than a dog in clothes. I mean really, if your dog needs a sweater to keep warm I am thinking that the dog breeder guy went a few steps too far. Evolution was going pretty good before people got involved. Natural selection = good. Human selection = cats with no hair. WTF.

So yeah, anyway, my bike goes naked. If it doesn’t fit in my pocket, it doesn’t go with me. Luckily CD’s fit in my jersey pockets quite nicely. I found a few over the weekend. CD’s not pockets.

First one I was riding along, passing a walking guy (walking as in ‘I don’t have a car’ walking – not ‘I am great’ walking) and spot a CD. I stop and pick it up. I look at it…

Holly crap! This is disturbingly close to work. Actually it kind of is work. I don’t pick things up on the side of the road to find work for Christ sake. It was like signing up for a dating service and getting hooked up with your sister. Ugh.

I would have chucked it, but walking guy was watching. Watching in a wtf, kind of way.
The second one was strangely in about the same place, but on the opposite side of the road on my way back. Even more strangely, walking guy was there again – apparently on his way back from his errand. So I stop and pick up the other CD. I think walking guy laughed at me. I can’t really blame him.

Thank god this one didn’t have work on it. In fact, it had some fine musical stylings, including my new favorite song – Fuck You – By Lily Allen.

Lily Allen is a bad, bad girl.