Note, when parking the wheeler on the family truckster make sure to lower the tire pressure first.
Pack Your Bags, We're Moving!
4 years ago
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Umm, yeah.
Just going through old e-mails looking for something and stumbled accross this...
Note, when parking the wheeler on the family truckster make sure to lower the tire pressure first.
Note, when parking the wheeler on the family truckster make sure to lower the tire pressure first.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Open Letter to the Groper
Dear Random Groping Lady,
I must say that when you reached out of the car you were riding in and made groping gestures in my direction that I was a bit flummoxed. I mean, no one has ever indicated a desire to grab my bum before while I was riding my bike. Seriously, how do you react to that? Should I be pissed? Should I be flattered? Was I confused?
By Default I normally deploy a finger when someone in a car gestures at me, but I didn’t want to, in case, you know, I was misinterpreting the gesture. Perhaps you were really excited by the little starbursts on my new Lactic Acid Cycling Club bib shorts and were rocking jazz fingers? I know I do jazz fingers every time I see them. They are pretty snazy. In fact I am doing jazz fingers right now thinking about them.
So yeah, if you were doing jazz fingers try it with your palm out next time - not with the palm up. And try not to leer when you do it.
Anyhow, I have consulted with my wife and family on the subject (of groping gestures, not jazz fingers) and come to the conclusion that it is in my best interest to be offended by your gesture.
How dare you make such a inappropriate and obscene gesture towards me! How rude! Don't you know when you grope at my outer shell that you discount my true inner beauty? Oh, I feel like such a piece of meat! A ribeye.
That should do it.
Right, umm, you would be disappointed anyway. I would say that my trunk ain't what it once was, but that would imply that it was once something better - which may not actually be the case. Yeah the old caboose feels something like a twinky actually.
That sounds pretty good I know, but you have to keep in mind that this twinky is nearly 40 years old. That creme filling dried out somewhere along the line and got kind of hard and stringy. Yeah, soft on the outside and kind of hard and stringy on the inside. Like a jerky flavored twinky. Sometimes things might look better than they are...
Were you drunk?
Well thanks for noticing me. I always feel better when people in cars see me as opposed to don't see me.
Have a nice day.
The Angry Cyclist
I must say that when you reached out of the car you were riding in and made groping gestures in my direction that I was a bit flummoxed. I mean, no one has ever indicated a desire to grab my bum before while I was riding my bike. Seriously, how do you react to that? Should I be pissed? Should I be flattered? Was I confused?
By Default I normally deploy a finger when someone in a car gestures at me, but I didn’t want to, in case, you know, I was misinterpreting the gesture. Perhaps you were really excited by the little starbursts on my new Lactic Acid Cycling Club bib shorts and were rocking jazz fingers? I know I do jazz fingers every time I see them. They are pretty snazy. In fact I am doing jazz fingers right now thinking about them.
So yeah, if you were doing jazz fingers try it with your palm out next time - not with the palm up. And try not to leer when you do it.
Anyhow, I have consulted with my wife and family on the subject (of groping gestures, not jazz fingers) and come to the conclusion that it is in my best interest to be offended by your gesture.
How dare you make such a inappropriate and obscene gesture towards me! How rude! Don't you know when you grope at my outer shell that you discount my true inner beauty? Oh, I feel like such a piece of meat! A ribeye.
That should do it.
Right, umm, you would be disappointed anyway. I would say that my trunk ain't what it once was, but that would imply that it was once something better - which may not actually be the case. Yeah the old caboose feels something like a twinky actually.
That sounds pretty good I know, but you have to keep in mind that this twinky is nearly 40 years old. That creme filling dried out somewhere along the line and got kind of hard and stringy. Yeah, soft on the outside and kind of hard and stringy on the inside. Like a jerky flavored twinky. Sometimes things might look better than they are...
Were you drunk?
Well thanks for noticing me. I always feel better when people in cars see me as opposed to don't see me.
Have a nice day.
The Angry Cyclist
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