Tour of Doritos

I am the token bike guy in my office. Always have been in every place I ever worked. What that means is that whenever someone has a bicycle problem, a bicyclist problem, or just general bicycle knowledge they feel they need to share it with me.

Get flipped off by a guy on a bike riding down the middle of the road? Go to Mike. Need help fixing your bike so you can ride down the middle of the road and flip people off? Go to Mike. Got a random observation about bikes? Go to Mike. And this time of year – got a question about the Tour de France? Go to Mike.

I should actually say, got a question about Lance Armstrong? Go to Mike. Lance Armstrong pretty much is the Tour de France for most people I know. They are probably wondering why it has been so long since the last tour.

In the past I always had to explain why it was ok that Lance finished 79th on a given day, and how he would still win the race. Or explain why it was ok, maybe even good, that someone else was wearing Lance’s yellow shirt.

This year I am not so sure though. I don’t know if he is going to win. I don’t even know if he is the best on his team. I am leaning towards no. Why? Because he is old. Old like me. I, like Lance am 37 years old. I realize that is where the similarities pretty much end, but I can’t help but to think his body isn’t the same – much like mine isn’t the same.

So yeah, if his 37 year old ass feels anything like mine he ain’t winning. I know I’m not winning the tour of anything anytime soon. Except maybe the Tour of Doritos. If they had one of those I could win it. I love Doritos. That may be one reason that Lance and I are not similar at all, and he just might win.