White Pants

I continue to be impressed by the Boise Police Departments continued efforts to keep me safe. News broke last week that they managed to arrest a dangerous pair of incestuous siblings. Well, technically they are only half siblings – but that doesn’t matter, they racked ‘em up on felony charges. Damn, I knew it was freaky, but didn’t know it was a felony.

That will teach them. And make all their victims feel better. What victims, you say? Well, me for one. When I read the article I felt slightly nauseous, and felt a minor pain in my side over where my appendix once resided. Of course, if they never would have arrested them I never would have known, and never experienced the nausea and mildly uncomfortable feeling in my gut. Interesting really. Kind of like that tree in the forest thing. If the guy and his sister (half) get freaky and the police don’t arrest them, did they really get freaky at all? I don’t really think so.

I can’t help but to think that BPD would have something better to spend their resources on. You know what I am talking about. Yes that.

And here is another. It really should be illegal to wear white pants. They should arrest people for that. You have seen people in white pants right? You can see the little inside part of the pockets through the outer material. You can see the persons underwear through the material (especially if they are black, which seems to be a popular choice with the white pants wearing crowd). You can see all of the unfortunate geographic features of the white pants persons rear end. You have seen that right? I’m not the only one right? So after you see someone else do that, why the hell would you do it yourself? What? You think you look different in white pants? Well I gotta tell you… Even Don Johnson had to wear those cheesy jackets right?

So yes, since you have got to know what it looks like, I am just going to assume that you wear white pants because you want to show everyone your underwear and geographic features (unfortunate). I don’t want to see that. Mix in some blue or something (the pants, not the underwear). And oh yeah, don’t think you can solve the problem by not wearing underwear – you can’t.

White pants should be illegal. White spandex – OMG don’t get me started. Not needing that either. No, it doesn’t make you look Euro. It makes you look FAT. Even if you have 2% body fat.