Idaho State Championship Criterium

I am the Jason Alexander of bike racing.

You know Jason Alexander, the angry little bald man from Seinfeld. The largely irrelevant one. Yeah, in bike racing that’s me. Actually, that’s probably me not in bike racing too, except I think I may be skinnier. Maybe.

Anyhow, I was racing in the Idaho State Championship Crits this weekend. In the Master’s B race I attacked a few laps in hoping someone would go with me and we could have a nice little breakaway. No one came with me. I gave it a few laps to see if someone would try to bridge over, but no one did. That was about the time I figured out I was irrelevant. Ugh, how embarrassing is it when you attack and no one cares. So I sat up. I didn’t want to be solo breakaway guy, I know I should have, I just didn’t want to.

The rest of the crit was largely uneventful after that. Uneventful except for the Dobiacco guy that tried to kill us all once by swerving across the road. And then trying to kill me individually a few times by not holding his line in the chicane. And then trying to kill me again later by swerving across the road on the front stretch when I was right next to him. I am sure he thought they were all deft bike handling maneuvers, but I think they were more daft than anything.

Yeah, I guess that was eventful. There was the part where I involuntarily spewed potty words too. Sorry about that. Actually, no, no I am not.

No harm, no foul I guess. Other than that there were a ton of left turns and some zig zags to the right. A couple dudes from out of state took off in a break and we never got organized to pull them back. My team mate Mark Bockenstette took the sprint for the state championship. That was good, he deserves it.

For some reason I raced in the cat 3 race after that. About 10 minutes in however, I reached left turn capacity. Yup, couldn’t turn left anymore – plumb outta left turns. So I turned right. Right off the course and called it a day.

Last night on tv I saw a made for tv movie ‘Meteor’. Jason Alexander was in it. If you are an actor and find yourself in a made for tv movie you know you are irrelevant. If you are in a made for tv movie and they kill you off in the first hour (like they did to Jason Alexander), not only are you irrelevant – you are probably washed up too.

I am the Jason Alexander of bike racing.