Conspiracy at Le Tour?

I got some new deodorant yesterday. I am using it today, and I gotta tell you – I smell good. Yup, that sport scent wafting from under my arms is just the right amount smelly goodness. I am really enjoying it today too – I should say, that is, I was enjoying it until one of my co-workers rolled in a while ago. She smells a little strongly herself. Maybe more than a little. I hate that. When it comes to smelling good, there can be too much of a good thing. Some people throw a lot of smelly stuff on trying to smell ‘intoxicating’. There is a fine line between intoxicating and nauseating, and someone here just crossed it.

So Wednesdays tool is either my sweet new pit stick, or stinky people – you pick. I should mention I did pick up some real tools this week – a box end wrench, and a 9mm socket. Metric! Score! Oh yeah, I also picked up six cents. Cha-ching.

But who really cares about that. I want to talk about the Tour de France. Dave Zabriskie (famous inventor of DZ Nuts) tweeted the other day that he was in 69th place. I saw that and thought to myself ‘self, they should really have a jersey for that’. I mean they have the yellow for the leader, polka-dot for the ‘best climber’, the green jersey for the ‘best sprinter’, and even the laterne rouge recognition for the last placed rider – so why not the salmon colored jersey for the 69th placed rider.

If you think about it, the salmon colored jersey would be the hardest to win. All you have to do to win the yellow is beat everybody. The polka-dot or green, just score more points than everybody. The latern rouge, just lose to everybody. But the salmon jersey, that one you would have to worry about getting attacked from both ends, so to speak. The guy in 68th could attack you by trying to lose some time, at the same time the guy in 70th could try to finish ahead of you a bit. If they coordinated their attacks it would be nearly impossible to win 69th.

Doing a little research into it, I think there may even be a little 69th race going on right now and we don’t even know it. I think that Garmin is after it. Since Z’s post he has faltered into 68th, but fret not his teammate Ryder Hesjedal maneuvered into 69th and today did some work to consolidate his position – losing 30 seconds with a well timed wheel overlap and crash. When I saw it today I thought it was just a momentary lapse in concentration, but now I am pretty sure that he did it on purpose.

Reviewing the standings I also find that David Millar is in good position going into the mountains in 65th place, well within his abilities to grasp 69th. Yes, I am pretty sure that it is a Garmin conspiracy. Looking back, I find the Millar came oh so close last year finishing 68th – loosing in the end to Joost Posthuma. Don’t feel too bad for David, because he locked it up in 2007 – yup 69th baby!

Sandy Casar won it in 2006, and in fact it seems that there is a lot of French interest in 69, there are always some Frenchman lurking in the past results. Thomas Voekler always seems near 69. I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised.

I for one am anxious to see how this one turns out. Screw Lance and Berto – the real race will be playing out way behind them. The race for salmon.