Pat the Goose

Have you ever been sitting on a bar stool and felt like you were moving? Not wobbling side to side, but actually moving forward, like the thing was on wheels or something? Yeah me neither, but I bet it happens.

Well Friday on my bike ride home from work I saw someone riding a bar stool, and they were moving forward. It was the damndest thing. Pedaling along minding my own business looking for money and what not, I look up and I see someone large coming towards my on the sidewalk.

I say someone, because I am not sure if it was a dude, or a chick. I do know they were large, probably code 2-5-0. Really frizzy, almost afro orange hair, and eyeglasses. T-shirt and jeans. Pretty much the prototypical Pat. This person is the reason that you need an ‘unknown’ option in the sex field of a database.

So anyway, Pat is coming at me. Flapping it’s arms all around and swerving side to side like a wounded goose. I would say duck, but Pat was much too big to be a duck – probably big enough to be a swan, but without the grace and beauty – so I went with goose. So yeah, flopping towards me like a wounded goose. A wounded goose on a bar stool. A bar stool with wheels.

So the bar stool gets closer and I see that it has one 10” wheel aligned directly under the seat. There are cranks and pedals attached by a short chain to the wheel. Pat the goose is pedaling like a mad (pat)? So it’s like a unicycle right? Well, not exactly. This one is like a unicycle with training wheels.

There is like a little plate attached somehow. It comes out about a foot in front of the 10” wheel and has a couple little wheels attached. Like skateboard wheels except not that nice. More like casters.

So there it is, Pat the goose riding a unicycle with training wheels. I realize it sounds farfetched, but I really couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

As I lamented my lack of recording devices I decided that I would spend all of the money I find on the road on a new helmet camera. I am only about $80 away. I should have enough in about a year and a half.