The Lyle Pearson 200 was this weekend. A 200 mile, 4-person team relay race from Boise to Ketchum. It isn’t really 200 miles, but Lyle Pearson 200 sounds a lot better than the Lyle Pearson 187.6 or whatever it is. That sounds like a triathlon, and nobody wants that. So anyway it is divided up into all these sections and you get to decide which person or persons get to ride which sections. You usually mess up somewhere in the section allocation process and someone ends up suffering like a dog. If you do it right it will be one of your team mates and not you.
I will us code names for my team, so they can remain virtually anonymous. I will call the first one ‘The Fury’. Because saying ‘140 pounds of fury’ cracks me up. To be fair, I have to admit, he doesn’t weigh 140 pounds – its actually much less I am sure. Also, calling him The Fury is like calling that Three Stooges Guy Curly. So yeah, anyway – THE FURY.
The next one I will call ‘G-MAN’. I could call him MG, but that would remind me of those little cars. This guy has a much bigger engine than those, and can probably go faster too. So he will be the THE G-MAN.
Third I will call C- Squared. Mostly because I can’t think of anything better. I would call him C.C., but that reminds me of C.C. Deville – that dude from Poison. Come to think of it, that is kind of funny, I changed my mind. I will call him DEVILLE, in the same sort of way THE FURY is THE FURY.
The Fourth member of our team was the support vehicle driver. I would call her MRS. ANGRY CYCLIST, but that is too long, and it abbreviates to MAC. I have done some dumb things, but I am not going to add calling my wife MAC to that list. So I will go with Sonya.
Last was me. Why am I always last?
We haven’t even started racing yet. Told you this was going to be long.
Stage 1.
I don’t know what ever made me think I could climb on a bicycle. I am definitely not a little climby guy. THE FURY is. OMG, THE FURY is. I am more of a middle middling guy. For some reason I thought me riding with him on the first stage was a good idea. I was a little nervous that he was going to put the screws to me for making fun of fixed gear riders (he is one) – but he didn’t. He actually slowed down each of the about ten times I asked him to on the road to hilltop. Time: 53:38.
Stage 2.
The transition went smooth and G-MAN and DEVILLE rolled on. Sonya navigated the winding road admirably while THE FURY, and myself wrung the water out of our rain drenched clothes. We rolled past G-MAN and DEVILLE and they looked good. G-MAN was driving and they were closing on the ICO team. Somewhere along the course, two of the ‘Eight Balls of Fury’ passed our guys. At least I think was two of the eight balls. I honestly don’t know. I really don’t want to know. What I do know is that Jake Turner is fast. Our guys stayed close to him and hit transition 2 at the same time. Time: 40:43.
Stage 3.
THE FURY went solo for the climb to Mores Creek Summit. Well sort of solo. He and Shane Litzenberger battled back and forth the entire stage. It would have been a thing of beauty to watch those two duel up the mountain, but alas we had to get to the next transition. Sonya (and the rest of us) about went road rage when we got caught behind someone driving ridiculously slow who refused to pass one of the racers. I thought THE FURY was going to catch us from behind. Curse you little black Subaru driver! Shlitz and THE FURY rocked to the summit at the same time to end stage 3. Time: 48:14.
Stage 4.
The G-MAN got the draw for stage 4, a small climb with a bunch of downhill. He started at the same time as Matt Beeter, our competitor from the ‘8 Balls of Fury’ team but lost a little time and jammed into the finish about a minute after beets. It makes sense, the G-MAN has a wife and a kid. Beets, to my knowledge, has a dog. Everyone knows that wives and kids make you slower on downhills. Time: 49:19.
Stage 5.
DEVILLE and I rocked the flat stage 5. By flat I mean we only gained 1000 feet over 22 miles. We passed several teams, and it made me feel like a rock star. DEVILLE is a rock star. He probably didn’t feel any different. We even had some fans cheering beside the road, that was nice. The highlight was when I almost ran over a western tanager, missed it by an inch – stupid bird. Sitting in the road. I wonder if a tanager can give you a flat? Or make you crash? So I almost got tanagered. Time: 56:26.
Stage 6.
THE FURY rolled with the iPod on stage 6. For some reason I thought he would be a Depeche Mode – REM kind of guy, but I was totally wrong. He told me he was rocking to some Chili Peppers and Metallica. Nice. That’s what is great about this race, you get a chance to meet some of your friends. Anyhow, whatever was on the iPod, THE FURY didn’t get to listen to many tracks. He is what they call an ‘Angel of the Mountains’ and was just flying. Time: 43:52.
Stage 7.
The G-MAN and DEVILLE rode the mostly downhill stage from Banner Summit into Stanley. Apparently the G-MAN stopped to pee during the stage. WTF? What is with my teammates stopping to pee this year? At least this time we were a long ways from the finish. Damn, we could have lost by one less minute, and had a sweat story to tell for a lifetime if he would have just pee’d himself. Losing by one less minute? Who cares. The story? Now that is an opportunity lost. Time: 1:01:25.
Stage 8.
Returning to the scene of the crime. The site of my epic bonk from 2008. I was determined not to let that happen again. I ate till my stomach hurt and drank till I was sloshy in preparation for this stage. I jumped in with the G-MAN, and DEVILLE dropped off. The G-MAN yelled at me to slow down in the first few hundred yards – a good sign for me. G-MAN ran out of gas halfway through but rode tough to the finish. He accused me of laughing while I was pulling and he was suffering. I wasn’t laughing. Smiling? – probably. Smirking? – definitely. But not laughing, I didn’t feel that good. Time: 1:08:36.
Stage 9.
If this were a stage race, this would be the Queen Stage. Over Galena and down the other side. THE FURY flew again, barely giving Sonya time to get us over the pass ahead of him. Unbelievable. Time: 33:24.
Stage 10.
Who ordered the headwind? This is the best stage ever – when there isn’t a headwind. When there is, it is still pretty good. The entire team rolled on this one. Had a hard time getting together at the start because THE FURY got there so fast, but we eventually got it together. We went back and forth with a few teams including a Reel Theatre Team with LAC guy Tom Witzke, but eventually found our rhythm and rocked to the finish. Time: 48:27. Total Time: 8:23:55 (Officially).
So that was it, the LP200, 2009. I don’t know if it was epic, but it was good. Epic maybe in common terms, but maybe not in LP200 terms.
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