Bad Guys

So the Nampa Police said today that they are looking for this guy…

Apparently he groped some girls on the gb in Nampa. I know, that’s what I thought – they have a gb in Nampa? That’s, um, unexpected. It does sound like somewhere someone might get assaulted though.

Anyway, the second thing that came to mind is that it is obviously a fixie guy. Look, he has the fixie guy military style hat (even though he is probably anti-military), the round glasses – only fixie guy rocks those, and a shirt with a funky fixie style collar. The Nampa PD better start stopping everyone with spoke cards to get this guy.

Speaking of bad guys, I borrowed my neighbors portable generator a week or so ago. When I went to give it back I noticed that there was a puddle of oil underneath it. The first thing I thought was ‘shit, I broke it!’ The next thing I thought was that maybe if I wiped it off a little he wouldn’t notice? Then I thought maybe I should put some of that goop in there the stops oil leaks for a while. A few thoughts later I finally came up with this gem – tell the truth.

Ugh, I am a bit disgusted with myself that it took me like 5 ideas before I came up with the most obvious and correct one. You might be a loser if. Damn it. Apparently I have an affliction. I am a bad guy. I will have to work on that.

So I took it back. He asked me how it worked. I said ‘great, but I noticed that it leaked some oil on the garage floor’. He said ‘Oh yeah, I should have told you about that’…