Goin Fish'n

Once when I was about 10 years old they filled the parking lot of the Cherry Plaza in Meridian with water and put trout in it. Then they let kids run around in the water like maniacs and try to catch fish with their hands. That was awesome. Awesome for me. Probably not so awesome for the fish.

I really like cycling, but fishing – that’s good stuff. I am hoping to squeeze in some fishing on fathers day. You know just me, my son, and my dad out for some man time. I am going to use worms. Maybe even a bobber. If that doesn’t work, powerbait.

I used to fly fish a lot. I thought it was cool. I guess it was cool for my purposes, see I like to fish – but I hate to eat them. When I would fly fish it was way easier to let the fish go, some places you were even required to let the fish go – and when I did it (fly fish) people would think I was a trendy hipster. If there is one thing that trendy hipsters do it ride fixed gear bicycles. If there are two things trendy hipsters do they are ride fixed gear bicycles and fly fish. You would be really cool if you rode your fixed gear bicycle to the fishing hole.

I started fly fishing when I discovered that I didn’t like to eat fish. I discovered that I didn’t like to eat fish when my dad made the ‘you catch them, you clean them’ fishing rule. It was about the same time that my dad figured out that rules don’t always have the effect you intended.
So I fly fished for several years, until I figured out that I like to eat fish. I discovered that I liked to eat fish about the same time that I discovered it is easier to eat fish than to convince a 4 year old to release a fish he just caught.

So yeah, now I fish with worms, powerbait, and a beverage. A lawn chair is good too.

Fly fishing is stupid anyway. I mean really. Think, what gifts does a fish have – well, it can swim and decide what to eat. That’s about it. Swim. Eat. You on the other hand, you have the ability to reason, and opposable thumbs. So rather than play to his strengths, the fly fisherman tries to beat the fish at the fishes game – spending hours making fake insects and determining the exact time and location to fling that fake insect into the water. The fish already knows all that crap. The fly fisherman wastes days figuring it out.

Dude. Use that ability to reason – fish eat fish food, like worms, or real bugs. Use them thumbs and slap some of that on a treble hook. You’re golden.

Or you can try to be smarter than a fish. The fish you passed on the evolutionary tree a few billion years ago. You may even catch a fish. Good job! You just outsmarted something with a brain the size of a pea. Something so smart it has sex once a year if it is lucky. Once in a lifetime if its not.

I think I will probably start fly fishing again after I tell my son about the ‘you catch em, you clean em’ rule.

Stand together everybody. Stand strong.