Missed Connection

You – helmetless, shirtless, wheelie riding fixie hipster. Me – Spandex clad biker rolling with an enormous commuter bag on a super sweet commuter bike. You were rocking a wheelie down the centerline of the gb bronco billy style. One hand on the bars, one thrown to the side as if either for balance or to give me a high five. I was admiring scantily clad coeds when I noticed you at the last minute.

I deeply regret missing the opportunity to slap you a fiver. While it is fairly common to see a fixie hipster jamming the gb it is not every day you see one rocking a wheelie. Rarer still is having the opportunity to high five one while he is doing it. Since that moment I have been feeling the weight of an opportunity lost.

I don’t really want to meet you. I just want to give you a high five while you are riding a wheelie in the middle of the gb. Let’s meet on the gb near the Julia Davis band shell – just like last time. Except this time I will be ready. When you do the wheelie and put your hand out, I will go ‘no hands’ and slap you five with one hand and do a ‘rock on’ symbol with the other hand. I realize that it would be coolest if I too did a bronco billy wheelie, but I don’t have those kind of skills. I have been shifting gears and riding up hills when I should have been practicing wheelies.

I realize this may be dangerous, but I am willing to take the risk for this once in a lifetime opportunity. Besides, I think your hipster top tube pad will protect you from harm with its aura of coolness. Who needs a stinking helmet.

If this works, could you please stop and give me a few dollars? I will need it to buy Butamus, my friend and co-worker, a beer. This missed connection was his idea you see.

Can’t wait to see you again. This is going to be so cool.

Sincerely,
The Angry Cyclist