Half Empty My Ass

I am a pessimist. That’s why I am so confused. See, everything is supposed to be half empty to me, but I have got this messenger bag I use for commuting – the damn thing is always full. Half empty my ass. Who made that up?

So when my wife gave it to me I thought it was the biggest messenger bag on Earth. I was wrong, they do make one that is a little larger. Mine is only the second largest messenger bag on Earth. I could keep a chicken in there if I wanted to. No, I could put two chickens in there. And some eggs. Four chickens if they were those little bantam things. That would be fun – riding with four chickens in a bag. I think they do that in southeast Asia.

Anyway my bag is huge. Hee hee. I thought it was waaaayyyy too big when I got it, but now it is almost always full. I may need a bigger one. Yesterday I was looking for something in the bag. I forget what I was looking for, but this is what I found…

-2 heart rate monitor chest straps. No heart rate monitors.

-3 CO2 cartridges, CO2 inflator, bicycle tube, two old fashioned glue patches (no glue), and instructions for said patches (in German). I drove my truck to work yesterday.

- Arm warmers and knee warmers (for cycling). Did I mention that I drove my truck to work yesterday?

- 1 iPod arm strappy thingy, iPod charging chord, and a little baggy with extra ear bud parts for my sweet new ear buds. No iPod, or sweet new ear buds.

- A receipt for some banana’s I bought at M&W like two weeks ago.

-Download cable for my GPS unit. No GPS unit.

-ATM receipt, HOA bill, shopping list – all from February.

- 3 bookmarks. In case, you know, I want to stop and read three books at once.

- 11 safety pins. In case I need to pin on a race number for a spontaneous gb race.

- 2 tubes of chapstick. Don’t want to be caught out like Napolean!

- 1 spoke magnet.

- 2 Coke bottle caps.

- 1 comb.

- 1 flash drive.

- 2 pairs of sunglasses.

- 1 cell phone with dead battery. No recharger.

I don’t know why the stupid thing is always full…

Speaking of full, I have had enough of May in Motion. Anyone else notice that May in Motion seems to be killing cyclists. Getting hit by the ValleyRide van, very much below average and ironic at the same time.