Colorado Chaser

So I told you a few weeks ago that I spent my spring break in Fort Collins, Colorado. I thought that I had told you everything, but I remembered something when I was dropping off my very old, somewhat decrepit dog off at the vet this morning.

So there I was, riding along in the nastiest headwind of my life (50+ mph). Minding my own business, enjoying the fact I was on vacation, and the fact that if I turned my head just right I could almost see the sun. Anyhow, minding my own business when I catch something in my peripheral vision. I look.

Crap. German Shepherd. He’s got the angle. I am going like 10 mph. This may be the end. Wait, wait, wait a second – it’s the oldest, slowest German Shepherd on the planet. He’s got the angle, but he is too slow to use it. Hmmmm.

I have been chased by many dogs (and a badger), and am always looking for a chance for a little payback. I have gotten some vengeance with little dogs in the past, but never something as good as a German Shepherd. I think to myself ‘Self, this is too good an opportunity to pass up’.

I slow down a bit so the dog tears (in an old dog way) out onto the road a few feet behind me. He closes to about a foot – I can see the blood thirsty pleasure in his eyes. I speed up a bit, the gap opens to 2, then 3 feet – I see defeat and disappointment in his eyes. He is going to give up – I shout encouragement ‘come get me Rin Tin Tin’. The bloodthirsty pleasure returns. A little more speed, oooohhhh – disappointment. A little less speed – bloodthirst. A little more speed – disappointment. ‘Can’t get me Rusty?’ Bloodthirst.

He lasted about a half mile. Probably took him an hour to get home. If he made it home. I would be afraid of the bad dog karma but the way I figure it this makes me even for the time that the St. Bernard caught me.

I saw a bumper sticker on my trip. It said ‘333 only half evil’. I think I am going to use it. Mine will be ‘444 2/3 evil’. Or ‘555 almost completely evil’. Yes 555.