Asphalt Fishing

My advancing age made itself disturbingly clear over the weekend.

It started on Friday when I played hooky from work and went skiing with a friend. It was the first time in like 15 years that I deliberately skied off trail so much. I dropped off a cornice, went off some jumps, whacked some bushes, and even threw in a face plant.

I knew I didn’t have my ‘A’ game anymore when I had to think about dropping off a cornice. I knew my skills had diminished when I found myself skiing in the back seat a few times. Not even my wreck was very good. I mean, in the old days when I wrecked I would be going so fast that I would tumble down the hill a ways – and more often than not, ski out of it.

This time I just kind of piled up on my head. Like a turd. A big snowy turd.

The fact that I was relieved I didn’t hurt anything when I fell was also indicative of my age. I think my skiing age was about 70.

I had fun though. At least until I got up to go on my cycling team ride on Saturday. Holly crap. Did you know that there are muscles in your butt? Apparently in the backs of your legs too. And speaking of backs, apparently there are some muscles in there too. Yeah, I never notice those things till they are sore.

So I didn’t feel so good during the ride. Just kind of waddled through it, duck style.

Speaking of waddling, why the hell can’t geese fly to the other side of the road?

Near the end of the ride, Johnny Atmos, Keeb’s and myself saw a couple fishing in a parking lot off Morris Hill. You don’t see that every day. Fishing on asphalt. Even more interesting is the fact that they seemed to be catching a wiener dog.
I pretty surprised. I mean, I always figured a wiener dog would fight more like a bass, but this one seemed to use more of a sucker fish technique. Or maybe a squawfish, err, northern pike minnow technique.

I know it’s hard to believe. You know, that a wiener dog fights like a sucker.

John told me I should turn around and get a picture, but that’s how tired I felt. Just too tired to photograph wiener dog fishing.

You won’t believe this, but down the road about a block – there were more people parking lot fishing in a different parking lot. I didn’t see any fish on. Or wiener dogs.

Must have been one of those parking lot fishing tournaments or something.

It got worse, Sunday when I went to Lowes Home Improvement Warehouse I had the store employee cut my particle board to the desired dimensions. Yup, so old that I passed up a chance to use my power tools. I did rally a little later and cut a bunch of crap with my saws-all. I will never be too old to saws-all.

To cap it off, I watched Rambo on Sunday night. Not the one where the young-ish Rambo goes around killing red neck cops. Or the one where the middle aged Rambo kills Vietnamese and rescues prisoners. Not even the one where the over the hill Rambo goes to Afghanistan and kills Russians. Yeah, I watched the one where the old Rambo goes around and graphically kills miscellaneous Asians.

After Rambo killed about 1,000 guys I decided that the movie was just too gory for me. Too gory? Yup I am old.