Summer Insults 2009

I was riding my bike the other day and had a little run in with a motorist. It got me reflecting on some of the things I have been saying lately. I realized that I keep going back to the same insults, my top 3 insults of summer 2009. Here they are…

Wanker. Wanker is one of my favorites every year, not just 2009. I picked it up when I was in college and lived with a British guy. Yeah, he didn’t speak American –just English. Wanker was one of his favorite words. That ‘crazy bird’ and ‘bloody hell’.

I like that one too; bloody hell. He always said ‘bloody hell mate’. A lot of times he would mix em up like ‘bloody hell mate, what crazy bird’, or ‘bloody hell mate, that guys a bit of a wanker –isn’t he?’

I remember the first time I met him. He asked me if he could ‘bum a fag’. I was like, yeah, that’s your business man – leave me out of it.
Anyway, yeah, wanker. Definitely top 3.

Recently I have been calling people republicans a lot. You have to understand, I live in the most republican state on the planet – or at least it seems that way. Our state leaders set a great example.

The republican governor comes out and says he wants the first hunting tag for a species which at that time was on the endangered species list.

His opponent in the next primary election one ups him by saying he would buy an Obama tag and follows up by refusing to apologize.

The highlight or our last republican congressman’s short stint in D.C. was trying to repeal the law of gravity.

Then our most esteemed republican senator, well he went to the bathroom in Minnesota but didn’t go potty. He did something else. Then he admitted he did. Then he changed his mind and he didn't. Then he didn't run for re-election and gave up saying that he didn't (because he did). Yes, I am confused too.

Yeah, I don’t know what would give me the impression that republicans are otherwise intelligent people who are blinded by faith, ambition, and tradition. I don’t know why I call narrow minded statements and behavior ‘so very republican’.

I don’t know why, but it is in the top 3 this year.

My favorite new insult this year was ‘ass hat’. I don’t really know where I picked that one up, I think from one of my friends. Honestly, I didn’t know what it meant until I googled it. I know, what an ass hat I am, huh? I really just like the way it sounds. It just feels right to say it.

Go ahead. Try it. What an ass hat.

You know you liked it.