Unbelievable

I was driving along yesterday and passed this tax preparation place. There was a blow up Statue of Liberty and a rotund woman dressed as the Statue of Liberty doing the sign wiggly thing. I thought to myself, ‘self, wow, I really want that place to do my taxes for me!’

Well, actually not really.

Nothing says ‘I know tax laws’ like a fat chick in a green toga. Wiggling a sign. Among other things.

It reminded me of when I was headed out for a bike ride early on Saturday. I rode past this car lot and one of the salesmen were setting up for the day – you know, putting the enormous stuffed animals and balloons on the cars.

Does anyone really buy a car because there is a stuffed animal on top? I mean really. Your rocking along and look over ‘Holly crap! Did you see the size of that stuffed gorilla? I gotta have that car!’ If you are influenced into buying a car by a giant stuffed animal you probably shouldn’t be driving. Buy a bike – I will give you a stuffed animal.

Yeah, and if you use a stuffed animal to make money you are a carnie – not a ‘sales associate’.

Have you ever heard the saying in regard to money that ‘it is burning a hole in your pocket’? Yeah, well, I have the same problem on with my mouth. I see something and really want to say something about it even though I know I shouldn’t. It sits there burning a hole in my mouth.

I saw something in the newspaper the other day. It was in a decidedly un-funny section of the paper, probably the unfunniest. It has been burning a hole in my mouth.



Damn it! It got out! Ah nuts. Well…

I never thought I would see another double Richard, but there it is. Plain as day. Dick Chuck Dick. It’s a Dick Chuck sandwich. WTF. Poor bastard, he didn’t have a chance.

Oh, I didn't have a chance. I can’t believe I did that…