Day Old News

So I get home from work on Thursday and sit down to read the day old news. I look at the front page and turn to the second. I don't have to worry about picking which stories to read because the statesman ranks them so I know which ones are most important. There at number 8, right before 3 articles about the economy, and the article about the Red Sox winning game one of the World Series in an article in regard to Wal-Mart selling urns and caskets.

I know the Red Sox aren't in the World Series, but really, a Yankees loss is the same thing as a Red Sox win isn't it? I still believe.



So yeah, Wal-Mart is going to sell urns and caskets online. Um, that’s a bit disturbing.

You ever noticed that at Wal-Mart you can get anything in the special NASCAR edition? Yup, it's only a matter of time before you can get your Jeff Gordon, Jimmie Johnson, or even #3 memorial accommodations. Hey Jimmie, did your parents miss that ‘and sometimes y’ rule? Just wondering.

You know that somewhere in Mississippi there is some dude sitting on top the TV (right next to the rabbit ears) in his Dale Urn-hardt. That just ain't right.

Wow. After that I turn a few pages. I come across the little section where you can email in your health care questions and a medical professional will answer them. Question number two:



My husband was diagnosed with colon cancer. Is it contagious?

Are you freaking kidding me? OMG. Unbelievable.

I can’t believe I live in a community where someone is dumb enough to ask that question. I mean seriously. What, have you been sharing polyps? I can’t believe I live in a community where someone is dumb enough to publish this question. I mean someone gets paid to produce and edit this, Nice.

Can you imagine being the guy with colon cancer?

Docotor – I am sorry to have to tell you that you have colon cancer.
CC Guy – shock, fear, worry
Wife – scoots the chair a little to the right.

The guy needs some support, some encouragement, maybe even a LiveStrong. He gets – is it contagious? I’m thinking you made a bad decision in regard to your relationship a few years back bud.