Speaking of butt-crackers, I heard that we aren’t allowed to call the swine flu the swine flu any longer – we have to call it H1N1. Apparently someone in the pork industry is afraid people won’t eat pork because they are afraid it will give them swine flu. Which it wont. Trichinosis yes, but no swine flu. Swine flu, you get that from your kids. Sorry pork industry, I just can’t memorize the codes for different viral strains of the flu – I am sticking with swine.
I’m not too worried though (about the swine flu) because someone at my work has put up little signs in all the bathrooms telling us to wash our hands. First came this one, which appears to encourage leisurely hand washing at work.
That’s ok I guess, I am all for leisure at work.
A few days later the chaser appeared…
This one I am not so sure of. I mean I assume that the guy in the picture is the fifth guy, you know, the one who didn’t wash. No wonder he didn’t wash, I mean he is carrying a freak’n urinal. Have you ever tried to wash your hands while carrying a urinal? I mean really. Its not like you’re going to put that bad boy down in the bathroom so you can wash right? Someone might pee in it!
And the part about ‘lets talk to the fifth guy?’ What the hell does that mean? No, YOU talk to the fifth guy ‘bathroom sign hanger upper guy’, not me. Last time I talked to a guy carrying a urinal it didn’t work out so well.
Another thing, if washing my hands after I potty helps prevent me from getting the swine flu am I to assume that I can get the swine flu from my bits? I mean, I keep pretty close track of my bits – I know where they are pretty much all the time. I think they are pretty clean too, I mean they get washed daily in the shower along with the rest of me. I don’t know.
I wonder why my son thinks I am a butt cracker.
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