I'm on Blogcation

I deserve a vacation. I am going tomorrow. There will be no blogging while I vacate. If I chose to get one of those fancy smart phones I bet I could blog while I vacate, but I haven’t, so I won’t. I will just vacate. The good news is that stuff happens on vacation, and I will have something to write about when I get back.

The last time I took a vacation for the sake of vacationing I went to Disneyland. Turns out I went to Disneyland on Gay Day. No, not ‘the happiest place on Earth’ – gay. I mean GAY day, as in alternative lifestyle day at good ole Disney. How did I know, you may ask? Well, some of the students in my wife’s class told her before we left – but I think I might have figured it out anyway.

You see, on International Gay Day at Disneyland all the alternative lifestyle people wore red t-shirts. So Puritans labeled people with the scarlet letter, Nazis tattoo their victims, and at international gay day the gay people voluntarily wear red. I have always found that’s the best way to get accepted by society – make yourself stand out more. It is particularly endearing when you print inappropriate sexual innuendo on your label err, t-shirt. You should have seen the looks on some of the families faces when they realized to their horror that they wore their red shirt on the wrong day. I think the t-shirt shop did brisk business that day.

Whatever, I am all for being gay or whatever else you want to be. I am all for being proud about who you are too. I am proud of you for being proud. Self esteem is very important. Somewhere along the line though, pride turns into narcissism.

Speaking of self esteem issues, I went to the St. Chapelle winery yesterday for a little outside concert. The Corvette club was there. I don’t think I will elaborate on that.

So yeah. Went to Disneyland. It was International Gay Day. Somehow, my son went the entire day without saying something awkward or pointing out some oddity. That was all good. The real event of the vacation was riding ‘It’s a Small World’.

We had like 20 minutes to squeeze in a ride on ‘It’s a Small World’ before we needed to evacuate the park. We figured we were golden – there was no line, and how long could that ride take anyway. So we roll through the little line maze already rocking to “It’s a small world after all”. They are only loading one family per boat. It’s a small world after all. My wife, son and I pile into our boat. It’s a small world after all. We enter into a room with fake singing children. It’s a small world after all. We enter another room with fake singing children. It’s a small world after all.

My mind was numb when we ran into the boat in front of us. It’s a small world after all. The combined weight of the rotund couple in the boat in front of us caused the boat to bottom out. It’s a small world after all. Well, for some of us anyway. It’s a small world after all. Boats piled up behind us, but didn’t exert enough force to free the blocked up boat. It’s a small world after all. Apparently too small.

So there we were, stuck in the ride. It’s a small world after all. It must have been the ride operators smoke break, because we were there 20 minutes. It’s a small world after all. It’s a small, small fucking world.

I’m off…