Munchkinland

I don’t know if I have told you this before, but The Wizard of Oz – pretty much the scariest movie of all time. If not the scariest, it is at least top five. Right up there with Alice in Wonder Land, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (original), and Darby O’Gil and the Little People. You gotta admit, monkeys with wings – now that is scary shit.

At the old Disney MGM Theme Park they have this ride. The Great American Movie Ride, or something like that. It is pretty cheesy. You go through all these different animatronic movie scenes while some Disney schlep acts out some dumb plot. I felt sorry for the Disney schlep. I really did. Anyhow, one of the last scenes was in Munchkinland from The Wizard of Oz. It was a big scene complete with the wicked witch of some direction. That wasn’t the scary part though. The scary part were the munchkins. There isn’t anything more creepy than a munchkin (except maybe a monkey with wings).

There was this one munchkin peeking out the window of a house – he had a hairline that had receded so far back on the sides that he had a little blond curly Mohawk. He was like a little white Mr. T. Now, receding hairline Mohican munchkins are scary by themselves, but the really creepy part was that he was staring at me the whole time. His beedy black eyes followed me through the room. It was like Chucky the receding hairline Mohican munchkin.

Talk about heebeegeebees. I’ll never go on that ride again.