True Confessions

This isn’t easy for me to say.

I am embarrassed to admit it, but when I graduated from high school I wasn’t ready for college.

So I went to Boise State University.

The fact that I spent three years there doesn’t make it any easier to own. I know. That’s a long time to decide that you don’t want to be a truck driver.

So yeah, one day I woke up and realized I didn’t want to be a truck driver, or construction manager. I also realized I couldn’t get into nursing school if I wanted to.

So I transferred to the University of Idaho.

I did learn some things at BSU. First, there is always a party on every Saturday night somewhere around Lincoln and Beacon. Second, you can pass a 3 credit class even if you only show up once a week. If you are an athlete you don’t even have to show up once.

Then, then there is BSU math. That is the math and reasoning skills you use to justify giving the national championship to the football team with the 100th ranked difficulty of schedule. Did I ever tell you how BSU won Super Bowl XVI? It goes like this…

BSU shut down Adrian Peterson in the Fiesta Bowl in January 2007 season. Then, in November 2007 Adrian Peterson ran for nearly 300 yards against the San Diego Chargers and set the single game rushing record for the NFL. Ergo, BSU is better than the San Diego Chargers.

Later that year, the San Diego Chargers defeated the Indianapolis Colts. Ergo, BSU is better than the Indianapolis Colts.

The Indianapolis Colts won Super Bowl XLI on the field. But really, since we all know that BSU is better than the Indianapolis Colts – BSU won the Super Bowl.

See how that works? BSU math.

So then I went to the University of Idaho. I didn’t bleed blue and orange from my time at BSU, but I did like Blue Monday at the Garden.

I learned some things at U of I too. First, that my self worth is not determined by the number of flags, window stickers, license plate holders, wind socks, bumper stickers, license plates, sweatshirts, sweatpants, t-shirts, jackets, hats, gloves, socks, chairs, bbq’s , cars, trucks, suvs, rv’s, and underpants that I own with my favorite athletic team logo on them. Second, they can put windows in cows. I also learned that most of the things that I learned at BSU were not applicable in college.

(Later I learned that most things I learned at BSU and U of I were not applicable to real life, but that is for another day).

I did learn some Vandal math.

There are 12 cans in a half rack. There are 24 cans in a case. There are about 80 cans in a pony keg, you know, give or take a few. Ergo, there are about 160 cans in a keg, you know, give or take 4 or 5.

I also gained the analytical skills that enable me to realize that the likelihood of the Vandals overcoming the Broncos tomorrow is slim at best.

So it goes. This too, shall pass.

Go Vandals!