Shorts - OK, Tights - OK, Tights & Shorts - ?

You know what I hate? I hate it when people wear tights, then they wear shorts over the top of them. Yup, that’s what I hate.

It happens a lot this time of year, what with the chilly temperatures and all. It is too cold to wear just shorts, but it isn’t too cold to stop riding a bike.

So there is this big group of people that are afraid to wear spandex but like riding bikes. Oh, the horror. The conflict inside just tearing them apart. In the summer they rock the baggy mountain bike shorts, because they think they can look swell and ride a road bike at the same time. Well, they are wrong.

When fall roles around they throw on a pair of tights and slap a pair of shorts over the top. Looking keen right? Well, not exactly. You look like someone who has butt issues. Nothing says butt insecurity like baggy shorts over tights. That goes for runners too.

Get over it. Odds are no one cares about your butt. Well, I mean, besides you. You care about your butt. You care much more than anyone else. Butts come in 3 categories: significantly below average, average, and significantly above average. Covering your butt with more clothing cannot move your butt from one category up to another category but it can move your butt down a category. Really the only thing that can make your butt move up is lots of exercise by you, or lots of beer consumed by everyone else.

I guess what I am saying is own your butt. TTFU and ditch the baggy shorts. You can be sexy with a big butt, but you can’t be sexy with butt insecurity. Seriously, when was the last time you saw someone sexy with tights and a pair of baggies.

Euwh. That sounded bad. You get the idea though.

So yeah, that’s what I hate.