Who Is Allen?

Agh! Wednesdays Tool again! Some bad ideas never die – just look at daylight savings – thanks a lot BF’r. Anyhow here it is.

I don’t know who Allen is, but apparently these are his keys. I always thought they were hex wrenches. Probably the second coolest tool ever, right behind the cordless saws-all. I found these ones on a ride complete with the little holder thingy. Of course some of them had come out of the holder, so I had to waddle around on the road like a tool in spandex to pick them all up. Pretty cool huh? Not really, they are in English units – pieces of crap.

Speaking of English, yesterday was St. Patricks Day. I know, St. Patricks Day isn’t an English bit – maybe even an anti-English bit, but I needed a segue and didn’t want to say ‘Speaking of crap’. So yeah, speaking of crap, yesterday was St. Patricks Day.

I don’t really know who St. Patrick was. I assume he was a religious dude in Ireland. I’m not Irish. I don’t pretend to be. My mother is 100% Czechleslovakian. I don’t really think that makes me anymore Czech than it makes me Catholic, because she is that too. If that does make me Czechleslovakian, I guess I am a mormoholic too, because my dad is a Mormon. Yes I practice Mormotholicism? Can you tell I am not particularly religious either?

So yeah. I am not Irish. I don’t need an excuse to drink beer, and when I do drink beer I prefer it amber, not green. I won’t eat haggis, and the only green I really like is celeste. That movie, ‘Darbie O’Gill and the Little People’? – creeped me out. Scariest movie of all time. Except for maybe Alice in Wonderland – now that is scary stuff.

I drink about 1 guinness a year when I am feeling hairy. I can’t tell the difference between a Scottish and Irish accent. Until I looked at the map just now, I thought Ireland was on the other side of England. All I really know about Ireland is that it is green, and that they won the quiditch world cup.

I do like Lucky Charms. I wore my old school green LAC cycling shorts yesterday – but only because my other shorts make me look like ‘baggy spandex guy’. I love the Dropkick Murphy’s, and the Boston Red Sox. But I hate the Celtics.

Wow, I am worked up. Should have had some green beer.