I kicked off my little reading fest with Lord of the Flies because it has a cool title. Being lord of anything is pretty much bad ass in my book. So yeah, I read Lord of the Flies. I know it is supposed to be an allegory with symbolism and all but I don’t know if I am buying it. I think that the lesson is that everyone is a wanker. I mean, deep down everyone is a wanker. When things get stressful wankerishness comes out, and some people are better at suppressing their wankerishness. And oh yeah, if you aren’t a little bit of a wanker you might get taken advantage of (sorry ‘bout that piggy).
Maybe it’s better I didn’t read it in high school – I’m not sure how my English teacher would have taken that.
Speaking of wankers, then I read The Catcher in the Rye. For some reason I thought there would be a guy with a scythe chasing kids through a field of grain. I was a little bit disappointed. I think there was a field of grain mentioned, but no scythe. It was about a teenage boy being a teenage boy – you know, mental. Largely overrated because of the potty words sprinkled through it.
Don’t worry, I wasn’t corrupted by the potty words. Some good citizen went through and crossed out all the potty words in the book that I checked out from the library. Shit, that was close.
Speaking of potty words, I don’t have much good to say about Les Miserables. I just finished that one a month or so ago. I am not a fan of abridging books, but if there was ever a book that needed to be abridged it is this one. Holy crap! In the story the main character saves a dude by escaping a battle through the sewer system of Paris – that’s like a page worth of plot right? Wrong. There are 50 pages describing the history of the Paris sewers. That’s a lot of poo.
So yeah, anyway, that one is about an ex-convict who becomes so nauseatingly good that the cop who spends the entire book chasing him has to kill himself. Nice story. Horrible book.
Now I am reading To Kill a Mockingbird. There are some gems in that book. And a Jem too. Maybe I will write about it the next time I am out of things to say.
I’m cultured as hell now. You may recall I gave my wife season tickets to the Musical Theatre of Idaho for Valentines Day. That must have been a good gift because it has caused me pain for nearly 11 months. It wasn’t too bad considering that my wife and I were the only ones in the audience that weren’t related to one of the actors. And that all the actors are the same for every musical. And that the lead characters always have the same name last name as the person who runs the theatre.
The highlight for me was when the actor that reminds me of Ross the intern from Leno played the beast in Beauty and the Beast. Yup, the big gay beast.
Speaking of well rounded, my dog (byd) has a well rounded diet. After eating my sons homework a few months ago she ate Christmas yesterday. Turns out eating Christmas sounds crunchy, you know like chewing on a Christmas ornament. Or twelve. When do you eat Christmas? 2:30 a.m. or so, when you feel like a snack. Waking up to crunchy sounds is below average.
Say it ain’t so, not Santa!
I was worried my son would be traumatized when he saw it. When he saw it, he dryly told me I should have hung the nice ornaments higher on the tree like he did.
Thanks for that bud.
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