No Where To Go

There is nothing worse than when you get all dressed up in your sexy bike clothes only to go into the garage and find your bike with a flat tire. That’s what happened to me this morning when I went out to go to work. Eff, all dressed up and no where to go. So I fixed the flat and rode to work.

In the big picture, that makes 7 flats to only 4 birds, in my flats to birds ratio. The way I see it I have scientifically proven that there is a relationship between birds and flats soooo – I have got a big double eagle coming. It’s like a pair of free bird coupons. I could probably throw in a bonus eff you – and still be golden. Look out everybody!

Maybe if I tried to fit in a little better I would get fewer flat tires. Maybe I could get one of those hipster fixed gear bicycles. I could role with no brakes and no helmet because – well it’s cool. I could get some deep dish velocity rims – because it is important to go fast when your gear is fixed and you have no brake. It would give me room to post special anti-establishment, or anti everything messages like “You Haters Suck My Balls” or simply “Fuck You”. Now that would make me cool and hip.

(http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/ is the best bike blog on the planet btw)

I could even throw in a spoke card from an alley cat. It doesn’t matter that I don’t really know what an alley cat is – or that even If I did know that there are like 2 bike messengers in Boise (and they are both unemployed dudes that just like to ride fixies around town). Yep, then I would never get a flat. I could even throw on some bull horn handle bars, or those nice curved track handle bars – because you know, we will have a velodrome here soon – well we will if it doesn’t fill up with water before the concrete is poured. It would be a nice pond.

I think I will just buy a few more tubes.