5 Miles of Fame: My Greenbelt Commute

The past few weeks I have made an effort to get back into the bike commuting thing. Finally yesterday it started paying off in a big way - more greenbelt tom foolery.

So I’m rolling home yesterday and role up behind none other than Kordell Stewart. Well, at least I think it was Kordell Stewart – that’s what his jersey said anyway. Didn’t look like slash from his Steelers days though, skin a bit pastier, hair was a bit stringier, and I didn’t think Kordell would roll on a Road Master. It made me feel a little down seeing him in such bad shape – I am a big Steelers fan. He did compliment me on The Red Sled though, but then that might be indicative of his situation – it has been a long time since someone complimented that bike.

Anyhow, not long after Kordell, I saw none other than Mario Cipollini urinating on the green belt. I am sure that it was Mario, he is the only one I could think of that would wear a winter camo bike kit. I never would have thought it, but winter camo has a spandexivity of about 9.5. To give the dude credit though, he did look like a real bike racer and could most likely kick my butt on the bike. But really, I mean who wears camouflage spandex – I guess maybe if someone gave it to you…
Besides, who pees on the greenbelt, I mean really. Feel free to mix in a bathroom, or in the very least dismount the bike and step into the bushes – it is the greenbelt, not the Tour de France – you won’t lose any time. Whatever.

So while I am cogitating that one I role into Garden City. I come around a corner and a few guys are coming right at me in both lanes – the one that is going to collide with me is Jeff Gordon. Yep, Jeff Gordon in the DuPont jacket riding the #24 Huffy. Couldn’t see me cause his Foster Grants were looking the other way. Reacting on instinct I called heads up and shot the gap between Jeff and his buddy. I put Jeff in the wall and his buddy off the other side – it was probably the coolest thing I ever did on a bike. That’s rac’n Jeff.

It was pretty tame after that though. I did see Kenny Chesney fishing for steelhead down by the Glenwood bridge though. I could be wrong though, he may have been after bass.