Hecklers: Violin Kid Revisited

I ride my bike about 10 hours a week. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but it is – just ask my wife. My point is that during my commutes and training rides I am exposed to bicycle hecklers for about 10 hours a week.

Having ridden about that much for the last 5 years I think I have seen the gambit of bicycle hecklers – from road rage guy all the way to violin kid, yes violin kid made fun of me.

We all know violin kid whether you know it or not. He was the bottom of the social totem pole the entire time you were in grade school, Junior High, and High School. He was the kid who actually ate the pea’s in the school lunch instead of stuffing them in the milk carton. He was the kid who fought the violin case onto the school bus every day for 12 years. He was the kid who tucked his shirt in. He wore a sweater vest. His Levi’s always looked brand new. When you went to his house for a birthday party in grade school the furniture was covered in plastic. Basically the anti-Lenny Kravitz. Do you remember him yet?

To be fair, he is also the guy that owns Microsoft, Dell, IBM, or any number of other companies. He is the guy with sweet cars, big houses, and trophy wives. On the other hand he may be the guy who went nuts and whacked someone who made fun of him. Surely you remember him now.

So one day last year I am riding home, and I see violin kid – violin case, tucked shirt, sweater vest, shiny blue Levi’s – he had it all. As I ride past he makes some snide remark like ‘Go Fast! Dork’. I couldn’t believe it, violin kid just made fun of me. Eff. What the hell. Am I really lower on the totem pole than violin kid?

I have known shaved legs and spandex put you in a precarious position in society, but below violin kid? Come on!?!

Damn you violin kid!