Stepping In

So I went to spin class today. There I was minding my own business, you know, hoping that no large smelly people chose a bike near mine – when this dude comes in and starts setting up on the bike in front of me.

It’s ok though, he wasn’t large or smelly. I had even seen him there before and talked to him – he seemed somewhat normal.

I say seemed, because I am pretty sure now that he isn’t normal. You see, after he got the bike set up he proceeded to put on his heart rate monitor...

Now, I am no expert, but I have seen a few heart rate chest straps put on in my day. You see that kind of stuff when you go to bike races. I have even strapped one on myself a few times. It normally consists of licking the little terminals, hiking up your shirt, wrapping the strap around yourself, then connecting the ends.

Yes, that’s right, I am a licker. I don’t have much time for heart rate monitor hygiene. The world is going to end in 2012 you know. I don’t want to waste any time wetting the terminals of my chest strap that I could use doing something else.

Honestly, I am not sure if dude licked the ends or not, but what I am sure of is that he ‘stepped in’ to his chest strap. I probably wouldn’t have even noticed but there was an awkward moment when it got caught up on his shorts.

Maybe it’s just me, but that’s a little like putting on your underwear over your head. Who the hell does that? I mean really.

Hell, I don’t know. Maybe everyone does it like that. But they do make the ends so they disconnect. There is that.

Anyway, thank you presidents for having birthdays and allowing for me to take a paid day off work to celebrate that. I hope you all can do the same.