Open Letter to Phone Book Guy

Dear Phonebook Guy,

Thank you for delivering the latest version of the Phonebook Guy Phonebook. I really needed something to put under the front tire of my bicycle while I ride on my bicycle trainer this winter. However, I don’t really need the Canyon County edition as well as the Ada County edition. Thank you in advance for retrieving it from my doorstep.

You see, I really don’t like Canyon County and I don’t intend to go there seeking services. In particular, I don’t intend to seek services in Canyon County using a phone book. As a matter of fact, I don’t really intend to use the phone book to seek services in Ada County either, but I do need a good wheel holder upper – so thank you again. In case you were wondering, the Ada County edition makes the best wheel holder upper when you open it to the legal section. Last year I sweated on Holzer & Edwards all winter and it worked quite well for me.

I guess the reason I don’t use your phone book to seek services is because of this new invention I discovered recently. You may have heard of it. It is called the internet. Al Gore invented it. It actually pretty much makes your business model obsolete – like the post office. Sorry about that. You see, the way I figure it, if a business hasn’t embraced technology enough to have a web page (even a bad one), they probably don’t embrace other technology either - you know? I mean I could end up with a doctor that thinks using lasers for surgery is a fad and prefers butcher knives – that would be bad.

So now that I think of it, I probably don’t need the Ada County edition either. I will gladly use it as a wheel holder upper this year, but I don’t need another next year. I will just buy one of those plastic wheel holder uppers – that way I won’t risk offending someone by sweating on their add either.

Thanks in advance for not delivering next years phone book. By the way, could you please tell your friends Phone Book Dude and Phone Book Man that I don’t need their phone books either – Yes, even if it has a glossy BSU football cover. Thanks.

Sincerely,

Mike