When you answer the door decked out in full spandex regalia. Yeah, that really throws people off. Especially when they are trying to sell you something or get you to vote for their candidate – because, you know, they can’t laugh at you. They have to be nice.
You know what makes people downright uncomfortable?
When you answer the door in full spandex regalia, then they ask you a question you just stare at them.
They just leave after that.
Really. I know because I did it on Saturday. I was on my way out for a little ride when some wanker knocked on the door. I could tell he wanted to laugh when he saw me rocking my cycling kit (like I just hang out in spandex all weekend). It kind of pissed me off because it was my house and if I want to be a spandex superstar full time in my house, well then, its none of his business.
He apparently liked to spend his free time going door to door pimping Steve Berch, so who is he to judge me if I like to spend my free time rocking spandex. Yeah, so when he asked me if he could count on me supporting Steve Berch in the election I just stared at him… Then he left.
That was weird.
I did vote for Steve Berch on my absentee ballot though. Mostly because he is less republican than the other guy – not because I made his campaign guy go away by looking at him.
Speaking of the absentee ballot, I made the mistake of the using the ballot request form that came in the mail attached to some republican propaganda. Apparently they rigged that form to alert every republican candidate in the state that I had an absentee ballot. I promptly got phone calls and propaganda asking me to vote for Tom Luna on my absentee ballot.
Well that was a dirty trick. Kind of like when Microsoft tries to fool you into changing your default search engine to bing by using some ambiguous language in a pop-up box. I bet how to change your default search engine to google is one of the top things binged.
Right. Anyway, I got seven different pieces of political propaganda in the mail Saturday. I also received a baggy of propaganda on my door knob. I received the aforementioned personal visit. Not to mention the three phone calls, two from a machine and one from a real person.
I am pretty sure that next election I will vote for any candidate that signs an oath not to send me propaganda, place propaganda on my door knob, sends a lackey to talk to me, sends a lackey to call me, or pays a computer to leave me a phone message.
Oh yeah, and I will vote for anyone who promises to make phonebook guy stop putting phonebooks on my doorstep. Especially the phonebooks with bsu theme covers.
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