Talking About the Weather is Lame, But...

I love the first few days of spring. The sun comes out, the temperature hits 60, and things start turning green…

After that though it pretty much sucks ass. The wind blows. It rains. It snows but doesn’t stick. The wind blows some more. The sun comes out, but you can’t see it because you are squinting in the wind. It snows on April 1st. You know, just to be a bitch.

There is some good bike racing on tv, but there is some bad bike racing in person. There is some nice fresh powder on the mountain – laying on top of rutted and grooved ice. Its too cold to be warm, but too warm to be cold. The wind blows. The dog poop stinks when you clean it up. The geese act like they own the joint, and the ducks, well the ducks stalk my ass.

Actually, that’s not true. I haven’t seen the duck today. Little bastard.

Speaking of poop, my furnace crapped out the other day. Nice. I call my dad because he has mad hvac skills. My dad is in Vegas. What the hell? How lame am I? My parents are partying in Vegas for spring break, and there I am staring at my furnace. I don’t even have any beer in the fridge.

So I disregard all the warning stickers and start taking panels off. The blower seems to be blowing, but I detect a distinct lack of flames. Now I am know hvac guy, but I know that, well, you need some flames to get some heat from your gas furnace. Yeah, that’s my problem – no freaking flames.

So I start looking for things to light. Ironically there is a decided lack of things to light in the furnace. So I go to plan B – the one I learned from Microsoft. Reboot. I pushed all the buttons and switched all the switches I could find. It must have worked because I have a fire now. Look at me, I’m mechanically inclined as hell.

I saw a smart car for sale the other day. The window sticker said it got like 30 miles per gallon. WTF? The damn thing is the size of a lawn mower and it still won’t meet the proposed new fuel efficiency standards. It must just be dense.

I just wanted to say that. That stuff about the Smart car. Didn’t seem so smart.

My calendar says it's Good Friday today. Happy Good Friday, everybody.

It also says Bjarne Riis birthday is tomorrow. Doping schmuck. Happy Bjarne Riis birthday tomorrow everybody.