I May Be a Garbage Man Holiday

You know what I don’t get? I don’t get how garbage men decide which days to take off.

I mean some days, like say Labor Day, they don’t work so they have a three day weekend but -wait for it- when they take a day off they have to make it up on the following weekend. So they get a three day weekend one week, but only a one day weekend the next. Is that better than two, two day weekends? Well I guess that’s what I don’t get. Personally, I would think that you would have to be pretty damn good at weekends to make a one dayer a good one. Maybe I am just not very good at weekends.

Speaking of garbage, my new big ass garbage and recycling cans kind of suck ass. I mean, they hold a lot of stuff and all, but they also hold water on top of the lid. That would be ok, but when you open the lid all the water rolls off the top and into the can. I did that (dumped water in the can) like five times last week. It was probably only a gallon or so, but when it mixed with the shredded paper inside it made something like that organic whole wheat spaghetti crap. Only with more flavor.

Right, so I could lift and tilt the entire garbage can to dump the water on the ground instead of into the garbage can then open the lid, but invariably it’s raining when there is a puddle on top of the can and I just want to lift the lid and toss the trash – in my haste I almost always make recycle soup.

At first I thought it was just me, but when I was talking to one of my trashy friends I discovered that he too experiences recycle soup. Yeah, it’s a trash can engineering fail.

I wonder if anyone goes to school thinking that one day they will design garbage cans.

Probably not. Hence the fail.

I was riding my bike yesterday. I saw a guy walking down this hill while I was riding up. And then I saw him again when I was riding up the second time. And then I saw him again when I was riding up the third time. And then I saw him again when I was riding up the fourth time. The fifth time he was gone.

I may be a garbage man holiday to him.