Above Grade Level Manipulation?

My 7 year old son has been trying to get me to buy him more Pokemon cards for the past week or so.

Today he came home and told me he wants a hamster.

I told him no.

He reiterated that he really wanted a hamster because they are cool.

I told him no.

He dejectedly told me that maybe he could just get some Pokemon cards instead.

I told him 'well played'.

He smiled.

Will I Always Be 10?

The cascading disasters in Japan are nothing short of a horrific tragedy.

I have to admit though, every time I see the word Fukushima the 10 year old boy english speaking boy in me giggles a bit - as in 'who is this shima guy and why do..." Um, never mind.

What? Like I am the only one.

Use the Force...

My wife's latest ebay purchase came in the mail yesterday...



Yeah, thats right. Over $8 in star wars stamps.

Well actually there are some boat stamps on there too.

I'm guessing if your ebay purchase comes postaged like this it's a not a good sign. You know, unless you ordered Star Wars underwear or something.

Bikes Are Smarter Than Trucks.

So normally when the time changes I just leave the clock in my car an hour off for several months. Not this year baby! Yeah at a stoplight I got an unforeseen surge in ambition and was able to correct the time before the light changed.

Yeah, I know. I rock.

But hey, how come my bike computer is smart enough to change the time for me - but my truck, which is like 10,000 times larger and 1,500 times more expensive is not? I'm just saying...

Oh, but daylight savings still sucks. I am leaving the lights on all day in protest. Those bastards.

That Was Close

Whew that was close! I didn't have anything to write about so I was going to write about the 'education reform' in Idaho.

Yeah, I was going to say how education reform was a thinly veiled opportunity for the legislature to go all BOHICA on the teachers union - the only organization in this backassward state with the strength to stand against the GOP for the last 20 years or so.

Then I was going to say that as disappointing as the performance by our legislators, governor, and education superintendent were - the performance by the teachers union was worse. I mean, this shouldn't have been a surprise - the only new idea presented this year was the trading teachers for laptops thing - and that was just a distraction. The other stuff has been lurking since Luna took office, what - 4 years ago?

And then I would spout for a while about while they should have been extolling the benefits of the teachers union and formulating their own plan to cut budgets the, teachers union goes all junior high girl and starts coordinating wardrobes, and having candlelight vigils. Seriously? Is that the best you could come up with? We know from past experience (term limits) that when the legislature has BOHICA on it's mind it doesn't matter if 95% of people are against it.

Right, then I would write a bit about how I am only an in-law of the teachers union and I am embarrassed. Yeah, someone was asleep at the wheel. Someone should be looking for ways to capitalize on this uproar and start shopping for new leadership too.

Damn, I was afraid I would have to go into all that until I saw this guy going Fabian Cancellara on the way home.



So I see this guy weaving through traffic behind me down Front St. I'm thinking the dude must be doped up like Contador to be passing all those cars on a mountain bike. I took the picture when he raced past me.

Bloody hell dude. If you are going to be boner and ride a motorized bike maybe you should rock it down the shoulder of the road. And if you must rock it in the middle of the road maybe you shouldn't weave between cars. In the rain. In low light. During rush hour. And if you must do all that the least you could do is wear a freak'n helmet so when you crash they don't have to spend as many of my tax dollars to put your uninsured ass back together.

Actually I don't know if he has insurance, but I am thinking there is probably an inverse relationship between motorized bicycle riding and insurance purchasing. I am just guessing.

I'm just guessing, but motorized bikes and 4 or 5 lane roads probably won't mix well for long. Maybe you should try the gb. Maybe we could race.

Anyhow, whew, glad I didn't have to write about that education thing.

Halfway There

The halfway point on my bike commute between home and work is on the Isle of Alternative Lifestyle in Garden City. Sometimes when I go past there - and by sometimes I mean every freaking time - I think to myself, ‘self, I’m halfway there’.

And then I think to myself - and by think to myself I mean singing out loud - ‘WHOA-O living on a prayer datta datta da da…’ I would sing more but I don’t know the words. Knowing the words of a Bon Jovi song is a violation of man law.

Freaking Bon Jovi.

I realize that singing Bon Jovi ballads while wearing spandex on the Isle of Alternative Lifestyle is probably a bad idea, but somehow I just can’t help it.

If you don’t believe me you could come down and loiter on Isle and wait for me to go past – but I think that might be a misdemeanor.

You should all try it. I mean singing out loud at the halfway point, not loitering on the Isle of Alternative Lifestyle. Unless, you know, that’s how you role.

Making Progress

I remembered this morning why I was going to buy fenders for my commuter bike. I don’t really know why I never did buy fenders, but I think it probably has something to do with me being a cheap bastard. And likely a vain bastard.

All wet diaper wearing aside though, it was a good commute. I only got buzzed by one school bus – Meridian #710 (yes, I was watching ass hole), and didn’t flip anyone off. Yeah, today was better than yesterday. See yesterday I found out that my favorite football player was going to be on dancing with the stars. Damn it! You better as hell win Hines Ward.

As bad as that is the day before was worse. Yeah, my son said that to be a man you have to be rocking a mustache. Someone pointed out that his dad didn’t have a mustache and his response was something like ‘oh, that’s too bad’.

Right, and the day before the day before was worse than that. Yup. My son reiterated that he wants to be a snowboarder next year. Ugh. All those years of calling snowboarders knuckle draggers and gays on trays is coming back to bite me in the ass.

Well at least things are headed the right direction.